From a June 9, 2006 email to friends:
Thought I'd share a funny story from last night. So last night I am lying in bed reading and Michelle comes up and tells me I left the freezer door open to the garage refrigerator. I think, "I've never done that before, but I was in the freezer earlier that evening so maybe I did".
About 20 minutes later, the mutts are barking frantically. The coyotes have been jumping into our yard lately so I figured the dogs were chasing them back out. Finally after non-stop barking, I go downstairs to see what is taking so long. I go into the garage and I notice the freezer door is open. I think, "Now why didn't Michelle just close the door when she noticed it last?" Then I notice there is dog food everywhere and things are in disarray (more than usual). I immediately realize a bear or a coyote must be in the garage and worse yet, I am on one side of the garage and my paintball gun (and real guns) are on the other side of the garage. Bad placement of items.
I very quickly, and I mean VERY quickly, back tracked into the house and ran to the front yard figuring if I am going to confront a bear, I want plenty of room and directions to run to in case the bear does not want to be confronted. All I could see was a couple coyotes running away so I figured it must have been a coyote and not a bear. I saw some a neighbor down the street and he asked me if he I had seen the bear that was wandering around for the past hour. I told him I didn't but my freezer was open and there was dog food all over the place. He thought it had to have been a bear as they do know how to open refrigerators. I think it was coyotes since a bear could not fit between my boat and the garage wall.
Tonight I am setting a trap to find out THIS TIME, I will have paintball gun and camera in hand. To be continued...(hopefully) PS Sounds like the beginning of a joke. "Did you hear the one about a Mexican, a bear, and a coyote?"
June 10, 2006 12:15am
Well I just found out 3 things.
1. THAT WAS NO COYOTE THAT RAIDED MY FRIDGE LAST NIGHT!
2. I am not the Daniel Boone I thought I was
3. People really do pee their pants when in panic
One hour ago... Okay, I head upstairs to go to sleep and within 5 minutes, Michelle wakes me up and says she heard something break downstairs. I hear some noise but the dogs, who are inside tonight, aren't barking so I figure maybe the mouse trap went off. I grabbed my paintball gun just in case and tip toe to the inside door that leads to the garage. I open it and there is a bear looking right at me less than 3 feet away! (Please review the 3 things I just found out because I learned them in less time than it took you to read them!)
As soon as I opened the door and he looked at me, I slammed the door shut, dropped my gun, pee'd my pants and ran back into the kitchen. All I could think is what the heck am I going to do if that bear comes through the door and how mad Michelle is going to be at me if that bear ruins our 2 month old hardwood floors.
I think I tip toed back, picked up my gun, grabbed my video camera and ran around to the front door. Then I thought, what if the bear is waiting for me? I couldn't see anything, but a man has to guard his castle. I sneak outside trying to manage my PB gun in one hand, the video in another, and a spot light under my arm. I look around the corner to the entrance to the garage and give out a yell and immediately the bear comes walking out of the garage. He takes one look at me and starts to trout off, in thankfully the opposite direction. I nailed him in the butt at least 5 times and sent another 50-70 balls all around him as he then bolted into the forest. I hopped into my Jeep and tried to chase him but I couldn't find him anywhere.
Well I failed as a photographer, I failed as a Daniel Boone, but at least there is a bear out there who has to explain to his buddies why his butt has lime green polka dots all over it! Over course, it is only 12:10am and there is still the rest of the night.
If that bear comes back again, THIS TIME I will be better prepared! I am wearing my son's diapers.
Good night.