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The day it all began...
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Family Adventures Blog

We redesigned our Family Adventures to a Blog format.

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in addition to the ones below.

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(Click on the + sign to expand open each story below)
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The Pooches Meet The Porcupine Adventure - July 17, 2006
John wakes up to hear Michelle screaming for Oprah in the backyard. It's about 3am so my first thought is a bear is in the garage again. I run out front and the garage door is intact so I figure the bear must be in the backyard.

I run to the back yard and I see Oprah frantically trying to get these white things off her face. I turn around and see Homer has the exact same problem.

Turns out the dogs attacked a porcupine in our backyard. Given the yelps that woke Michelle up, I assume the dogs did not launch a successful attack.

I calmed Oprah down and tried to pull the quills out of her cheek. The quills were deeply embedded in her cheek, nose, and even in her tongue. I realized there was no way I was going to get those quills out without causing them a lot of pain.

I decided to look on the Internet to get fast information on removing porcupine quills from dogs. Fortunately there are no toxins but in order to get them out, it will require anesthesia and a veterinarian.

I called a 24 hour vet in Carson City and they said they were swamped and would not be able to get to them until late morning. (Not sure why they would be so busy at 4:30am)

I looked at the dogs and they had calmed down. They had a pitiful expression of stupidity. I decided to wait until our local vet opened in the morning.

Since the anesthesia was so expensive, I figured I might as well get everything done so Homer got some growths removed from his gums and Oprah had her teeth cleaned and an ear wash.

$800 later, the dogs were back to normal and John was again...broke.
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John and the Bear - June 9, 2006

From a June 9, 2006 email to friends:
Thought I'd share a funny story from last night. So last night I am lying in bed reading and Michelle comes up and tells me I left the freezer door open to the garage refrigerator. I think, "I've never done that before, but I was in the freezer earlier that evening so maybe I did".

About 20 minutes later, the mutts are barking frantically. The coyotes have been jumping into our yard lately so I figured the dogs were chasing them back out. Finally after non-stop barking, I go downstairs to see what is taking so long. I go into the garage and I notice the freezer door is open. I think, "Now why didn't Michelle just close the door when she noticed it last?" Then I notice there is dog food everywhere and things are in disarray (more than usual). I immediately realize a bear or a coyote must be in the garage and worse yet, I am on one side of the garage and my paintball gun (and real guns) are on the other side of the garage. Bad placement of items.

I very quickly, and I mean VERY quickly, back tracked into the house and ran to the front yard figuring if I am going to confront a bear, I want plenty of room and directions to run to in case the bear does not want to be confronted. All I could see was a couple coyotes running away so I figured it must have been a coyote and not a bear. I saw some a neighbor down the street and he asked me if he I had seen the bear that was wandering around for the past hour. I told him I didn't but my freezer was open and there was dog food all over the place. He thought it had to have been a bear as they do know how to open refrigerators. I think it was coyotes since a bear could not fit between my boat and the garage wall.

Tonight I am setting a trap to find out THIS TIME, I will have paintball gun and camera in hand. To be continued...(hopefully) PS Sounds like the beginning of a joke. "Did you hear the one about a Mexican, a bear, and a coyote?"

June 10, 2006 12:15am
Well I just found out 3 things.
1. THAT WAS NO COYOTE THAT RAIDED MY FRIDGE LAST NIGHT!
2. I am not the Daniel Boone I thought I was
3. People really do pee their pants when in panic

One hour ago... Okay, I head upstairs to go to sleep and within 5 minutes, Michelle wakes me up and says she heard something break downstairs. I hear some noise but the dogs, who are inside tonight, aren't barking so I figure maybe the mouse trap went off. I grabbed my paintball gun just in case and tip toe to the inside door that leads to the garage. I open it and there is a bear looking right at me less than 3 feet away! (Please review the 3 things I just found out because I learned them in less time than it took you to read them!)

As soon as I opened the door and he looked at me, I slammed the door shut, dropped my gun, pee'd my pants and ran back into the kitchen. All I could think is what the heck am I going to do if that bear comes through the door and how mad Michelle is going to be at me if that bear ruins our 2 month old hardwood floors.

I think I tip toed back, picked up my gun, grabbed my video camera and ran around to the front door. Then I thought, what if the bear is waiting for me? I couldn't see anything, but a man has to guard his castle. I sneak outside trying to manage my PB gun in one hand, the video in another, and a spot light under my arm. I look around the corner to the entrance to the garage and give out a yell and immediately the bear comes walking out of the garage. He takes one look at me and starts to trout off, in thankfully the opposite direction. I nailed him in the butt at least 5 times and sent another 50-70 balls all around him as he then bolted into the forest. I hopped into my Jeep and tried to chase him but I couldn't find him anywhere.

Well I failed as a photographer, I failed as a Daniel Boone, but at least there is a bear out there who has to explain to his buddies why his butt has lime green polka dots all over it! Over course, it is only 12:10am and there is still the rest of the night.

If that bear comes back again, THIS TIME I will be better prepared! I am wearing my son's diapers.

Good night.